Best Husband and Lover, Worse Father

They say there is nothing wrong to have a harem of women as long as you can afford it. Well, that is fine!  Weak women always look for men who can provide their materialistic desires as their “savior” and  thinks that having a man is heaven.

Pride of Lions in Katavi National Park

A bachelor friend once told me, it is difficult now to find a woman of virtue to be a wife and a mother to his children. He is not a poor man but an eligible bachelor, a lot of women where after him especially when he drives his fancy car or when he hangs out in the bars where women flirt likes flies. Is this because our women are not smart or empowered? Or simply they think that their physical beauty is their greatest weapon to the man’s pocket and men are idiots. But physical beauty wane, man’s desire always have its own limit and in the end men will leave them.

I am always felt sorry and sometimes angered when I meet people who has the potential but unfortunately they are miserable and  could have a better future. It is just because they have fathers that abandon them.

Early this week, a baby was found in one of the out skirts of Dar as Salaam, too good that a Good Samaritan notice the newly born wrapped in the kanga abandoned. When the news broke, many blame the mother but rarely blames the father. Í hope the baby is now fine and will have a place where someone will take care of her.

Why always the women who are to blame, one of my male friend said, he just go out for fun but women are idiots. What? Blatantly, I answered I felt sorry for him because he was born from an idiot! Women are known for details but why they always fell in love with man who is married because they simply felt in love without knowing the man better. As one of my women friend,  simply put it, it is transaction  business that becomes personal.  One case in point is a woman who works in a casino, felt in love with man and when she found out that man was married, she decided to get pregnant from the man on the precept that the man will leave his family and will stay with her because she is a foreigner and that is her advantage from the real wife, and siring a child from him, she thought she can have him completely.  When she told him, she was pregnant, the man reacted, you are an idiot, I have a family and I have a reputation at stake.  The man will not own responsibility that he suggested to the woman to abort the child. Period, the woman had an abortion but still always run after the man as if the man owns her life.

A young woman come to me while visiting one of   the centers, she said, if my father did not abandon us, maybe I am not in this situation.  I hate him. And I answered her not hate her father, but learn to love him. But she answered back, how I cannot hate him when I am in this situation now. He abandon us, he abandon also the first family. He did not support us but he is now with his new girl. Once I come to him for help, he said he do not have enough because he has money only for his new girl. Besides he said my mother is a whore.

With our carnal desires, we always have to find a way as men, but women thinks that they are weak and not empowered that  they use their physical beauty just for a short gain. Real men, no matter how hard and difficult always find way for their children but never abandon them. A man who cannot control his carnal desire because of his macho and chauvinistic attitude is always defeated. Masculinity is not define only by our physical strength and material wealth, it is define on how we are  responsible and control ourselves.  As men we must face our consequences of our actions that instead of helping to have an empowered individual, we will be having a society that is full of hatred and disappointment individuals. Do not only be a good lover, husband,  but be a good father to your children. The greatest achievement of man is when his children pays tribute to him how good he is as a husband to their mothers  and as father.to them.